What a few days it has been. Tarv has been ill… with some mysterious allergic reaction nonsense that has left him feeling really crappy. The boys have colds, and Kinsey is teething. Me? Well, I am just trying to deal. I have been in a pretty crappy mood, no thanks to the lack of sleep, but I have a feeling that even if I was getting a better night’s sleep I would be crabby. You see, I am a bit frustrated. Life is frustrating some times, and this is just one of those times.
Just to prove I really am being grumpy: here is a live shot of me moping on the couch.
Okay. Here is me taking a big deep breath. I should really be thankful for those in my life who love me, and who I love, too. I have been in such a nasty mood, focusing on all the things I wish were different in my day to day life that I miss the big picture. I have an amazingly loving husband, who puts up with my mood swings, rants, fits, and eye-ball rolling. I have two little boys who are over-the-moon for me. I have family and friends who care about me. I am just going to go ahead and kick my own self in the butt for being so mopey the last few days.
There, I did it. Maybe some of my nastiness has to do with the weather? I need a nice day… but it does not look like the forecast is swinging in my favor. Yikes. Let’s hope the boys’ colds disappear asap so we can get out of our shoebox!
I did something new yesterday. I told God the truth. I told him that I don’t like that I might have to move again or that I might have to have someone move in so I can continue to live here. I told God that I really like my house and my community and that I’d gotten used to living a bit more comfortably. I told him I was really frustrated and I wanted him to fix it all. I told him I felt guilty for feeling all this. Then I cried.
Usually, I wont admit these things in prayer. I usually just say what I think God would want to hear. It felt good. Cause Life sucks. And I think God knows that.